Joane and I were happy together.------No question about it.

Friends have commented that it was obvious and have asked: what’s the secret to a happy marriage? Well, I can only tell you how Joane and I approached the subject.

When we were fiancées we explored our likes and dislikes, our habits, our idiosyncrasies. In the process we lied to each other.


We both said that we would want to be alone from time to time, to be isolated. Months later we discovered that this desire was an absolute falsehood. We couldn’t stand to be apart from each other.

We each tried to come up with a short poem which would disclose some basic part of our character.

Joane’s was:

If of they worldly goods thou art bereft

And from thy meager store two loaves alone to thee are left.

Sell one. And, with the dole

Buy Hyacinths to feed the soul.

Mine was:

The moving Finger writes; and, having writ,

Moves on: nor all your piety nor wit

Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,

Nor all your tears wash out a Word of it.

Joane’s awakened me to the beauties of life. She said that mine told her we cannot live in the past.

We cribbed a great deal of our wedding ceremony from Google. Most of the religions we explored said they’d prepare a ceremony if we paid for it. The exception was the Jewish faith. We took from it the phrase “And we will live each day as if it is the first, the last, and the only day we will have with each other.”

We have married 2,285 times. Each morning we asked the question: “Will you marry me?” We placed our wedding necklaces around our necks and recited in unison that commitment, sometimes with years of joy in our eyes. Each night at bedtime we would sing a love song to each other.

We rejected the statement “My parents didn’t do it that way.” Perhaps more than anything else was our determination to respect each other’s individuality and not even try to make the other “Do it my way.” Although I must admit to having received gently- presented comments about colour coordination.

You shouldn’t be surprised when you hear me say that during our life together I’ve had the most wonderful experience of having a love affair with a married woman:-----Joane Elizabeth Humphrey.