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WOMEN WHO LOVE MEN WHO LOVE GUITARS

YOU ASK NINE OUT OF TEN WOMEN
WHAT SHE WANTS OUT OF LIFE
THESE DAYS YOU'LL PROBABLY HEAR
SHE WANTS HER OWN CAREER
A COUPLE OF KIDS AND TO BE THE PROUD WIFE OF A
SHIRT N' TIE NINE TO FIVE HUSBAND
WHO'S MAKIN' MONEY HAND OVER FIST
HE'LL HAVE CONSERVATIVE VIEWS
DRIVE BMWs
AND MAKE THE YEARS TEN BEST DRESSED LIST
THAT LEAVES A GUY LIKE ME
DOWN ON HIS KNEES
THANKIN' HIS LUCKY STARS
FOR THE WOMEN WHO LOVE MEN WHO LOVE GUITARS

NOW YOU ASK THAT ONE OTHER WOMAN
WHAT SHE'S LIVIN' FOR
SHE'LL SAY GIMME A CROWD
TURN IT UP LOUD
SATURDAY NIGHT
OUT ON THE DANCE FLOOR, WITH A
LONG LEAN MAN, IN A GUITAR BAND
GIVIN' HER THE EYE
SHE'LL SAY WELL HE'LL HAVE HIS NERVE
SOME DANGEROUS CURVES
AND N0T BE TOO TERRIBLY SHY
YEAH IT'S FOR GIRLS LIKE THESE
I GET DOWN ON MY KNEES
AND THANK MY LUCKY STARS
THEY'RE THE WOMEN WHO LOVE MEN WHO LOVE GUITARS

WELL SHE'S THE SPARK WHO LIGHTS THE FIRE, THAT SETS THOSE FINGERS BURNIN'
SHE'S THE TEARS THAT MAKES THAT GUITAR WEEP AND MOAN
SHE'S THE BROKEN HEART, THAT HANGS HIS HEAD AND PLAYS THE BLUES
N' SHE'S THE LOW DOWN, DOWN AND DIRTY, MAKES THAT BOY BAD TO THE BONE
SHE'S THE WOMEN WHO LOVE MEN WHO LOVE GUITARS

NOW YOU ASK ME WHAT ABOUT A WOMAN
MAKES THE LION IN ME ROAR
IT'S JUST THE WAY SHE MOVES
WHEN SHE KICKS OFF HER SHOES
SHAKE RATTLES AND ROLLS
ACROSS THE DANCE FLOOR
N' WHEN SHE SASHAYS BY
WITH A TWINKLE IN HER EYE
N' FLASHES ME A SMILE
WELL MAN IT DON'T TAKE A GENIUS TO SEE
SHE'S THE ONE WHO MAKES IT ALL WORTH WHILE
YEAH IT'S FOR GIRLS LIKE THESE
I GET DOWN ON MY KNEES
N' THANK MY LUCKY STARS
THEY'RE THE WOMEN WHO LOVE MEN
WHO LOVE GUITARS
YEAH ITS FOR GIRLS LIKE THESE
I GET DOWN ON MY KNEES
N' YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE
YOU'RE THE WOMEN WHO LOVE MEN
WHO LOVE GUITARS
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(WILL YOU) BE MY JANE

I'LL PROTECT YOU FROM SNAKES AND SPIDERS
SWING OUT OF TREES AND SAVE YOU FROM TIGERS
FOREVER AND ALWAYS, MY LOVE FOR YOU WILL REIGN
WHEN I'M YOUR TARZAN, AND YOU'RE MY JANE

WELL WAY DOWN IN THE JUNGLES
OF DEEPEST DARKEST AFRICA
UP A RAGIN' RIVER
FULL OF CROCODILES AND PIRHANNAS
THROUGH A TREACHEROUS MOUNTAIN PASS
SWINGING FROM VINE TO VINE
I FOUND A LOVER'S PARADISE
BACK WHEN I WAS A BOY OF NINE
AND I DREAMED SOMEDAY I WOULD RETURN
FOREVER TO REMAIN
HONEY I WANNA BE YOUR TARZAN
WILL YOU BE MY JANE

WE'LL BUILD A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE
AT THE TOP OF THE TREES
ORANGUTANS AND MONKEYS
WILL KEEP US COMPANY
JUNGLE FRUITS AND BERRIES
WILL KEEP US YOUNG AND STRONG
AND EXOTIC BIRDS OF PARADISE
WILL SERENADE US WITH THEIR SONGS
WE'LL RIDE ON BACKS OF ELEPHANTS
TAKE SHOWERS IN THE TROPICAL RAIN
HONEY I WANT TO BE YOUR TARZAN
WILL YOU BE MY JANE

IF WE'RE GOING TO FALL IN LOVE
LET'S DO IT RIGHT
THERE'S A BOAT LEAVING FOR AFRICA
SETTIN' SAIL TONIGHT
SAY THE WORD AND WE'LL BE OFF
ON OUR WILD ADVENTURE OF LOVE
A LIFE OF PASSION AND ROMANCE
THE LIKE YOU'VE ONLY EVER DREAMED OF

AND WHEN THE DAY IS OVER
WE'LL RETIRE TO THE TREES
LIE AWAKE IN EACH OTHERS ARMS
ROCKIN' IN THE BREEZE
SAFE AND WARM AND HAPPY
IN OUR SHANGRI-LA OF LOVE
WITH THE ELEPHANTS BELOW US
AND THE JUNGLE MOON ABOVE
HONEY I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND
I'M JUST TRYING TO EXPLAIN
I WANT TO BE YOUR TARZAN
WILL YOU BE MY JANE
I WANT TO BE YOUR TARZAN
WILL YOU BE MY...
I'LL PROTECT YOU FROM
SNAKES AND SPIDERS
-----------------------------top

YA CAN'T POLISH A TURD

LITTLE SISTER MINE
IT AIN'T NO CRIME THAT YOU COMMITTED
YOU WERE YOUNG, NAIVE AND IMPETUOUS
YOU WENT RIGHT AHEAD AND DID IT
WHEN THAT MAN ASKED FOR YOUR HAND
N' YOU HEARD THEM WEDDIN' BELLS
YOU WALKED OFF THE ALTAR OUT OF THE CHURCH
RIGHT IN TO A LIVIN' HELL
CS' IT TURNS OUT HE'S ABOUT AS RIGHT FOR YOU
AS A CAT IS FOR A BIRD
N' WHEN IT COMES TO LOVE WELL IT WOULD SURELY SEEM
HE DON'T KNOW THE MEANIN' OF THE WORD
WELL YOU CAN KEEP ON TRYIN' TO MEND HIS WAYS
MAYBE EVEN GET HIM TO JOIN AA
BUT LIKE A SAYIN' I ONCE HEARD
LITTLE SISTER
YA CAN'T POLISH A TURD

YOU SMILED AND SAID I DO
THOUGH EVEN YOU MUST HAD YOUR DOUBTS
I GUESS YOU FIGURED LOVE N' HOME COOKIN'
WOULD STRAIGHTEN THAT BOY RIGHT OUT
BUT YOU'VE BEEN WORKIN' YOUR POOR HEART TO THE BONE
TRYIN' TO MAKE THINGS TURN OUT RIGHT
N' IT SEEMS LIKE WITH OR WITHOUT YOUR LOVE
HE'S GONNA GO AHEAD AND SMOKE AND DRINK AND FIGHT
CS' NOW IT TURNS OUT HE'S ABOUT AS RIGHT FOR YOU
AS A PIRATE FOR A MAIDEN
N' WHEN IT COMES TO HUSBANDS WELL I BET YOU WISH
YOU COULD TAKE HIM BACK N' TRADE'M
WELL YOU CAN KEEP ON THROWIN' TEMPER TANTRUM FITS
BUT MAYBE ITS JUST TIME YOU CALLED IT QUITS
CS' LIKE A SAYIN' I ONCE HEARD LITTLE SISTER
YOU CAN'T POLISH A TURD

WELL YOU HAD YOURSELF A DREAM
IT DIDN'T SEEM THAT MUCH TO ASK FOR
A LITTLE HOUSE WITH A YARD N' A PICKET FENCE
AND A MAN THAT YOUR LOVE COULD LAST FOR
WITH A HEART AS SWEET AND PURE AS YOURS
SISTER MINE YOU DESERVE THE BEST
HE'S GOT IT COMIN', JUST SAY THE WORD
N' LET YER BROTHERS TAKE CARE OF THE REST

TONIGHT MA CALLED IN TEARS, SEEMS SHE FEARS
THERE'S TROUBLE BREWIN'
SHE HEARD YOU BOUGHT YOURSELF A SHOTGUN
N' SHE'S AFRAID YOU'RE ON THE ROAD TO RUIN'
NOW IT'S TRUE YOU PROMISED TO LOVE HONOR AND OBEY
TILL DEATH DO YOU TWO PART
BUT THE THOUGHT OF YOU SPENDIN' YOUR LIFE BEHIND BARS
WHY IT'S LIKE TO BREAK YOUR BROTHER'S HEART
CS' NOW WE ALL KNOW HE'S ABOUT AS RIGHT FOR YOU
AS A BO WEEVIL FOR THE COTTON
AND WHEN IT COMES TO THE FRUITS OF LOVE
WELL WE ALL SEE THAT HE'S ROTTEN
BUT IT'S NO BIG DEAL, WE'VE ALL BEEN BURNED
LET'S JUST CALL IT A LESSON LEARNED
CS' LIKE A SAYIN' I ONCE HEARD, LITTLE SISTER
YA CAN'T POLISH A TURD
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LOVE THANG

WELL MY PATIENCE CAUGHT THE FIRST FLIGHT OUT
ALL CAUTION HOPPED A TRAIN
MY GOOD SENSE DON'T SEEM TO KNOW ENOUGH
TO COME IN OUT OF THE RAIN
MY REASON JUMPED RIGHT OUT THE WINDOW
MY MEMORY FORGOT
MY RIGHT MIND LOST ITS MARBLES
AND MISSED ITS TRAIN OF THOUGHT
HONEY ONE LOOK WAS ALL IT TOOK
AND MY POOR HEARTSTRINGS WENT TWANG...
I'M TALKIN' 'BOUT A LOVE THANG
I'M TALKIN' 'BOUT A LOVE THANG

MY RHYME DIVORCED MY REASON
AND MY METER LOST ITS RHYTHM
MY CONFIDENCE TURNED TAIL AND RUN
AND HE TOOK MY COURAGE WITH HIM
MY COMPOSURE QUIT COMPOSIN'
MY BRIGHT IDEA'S BEEN GONE FOR DAYS
AND NOW MY INDEPENDENCE
SEEMS TO VANISH IN THE HAZE
WELL YOU SMILED YOUR LITTLE SMILE
AND MY POOR HEARTSTRINGS WENT TWANG...
I'M TALKIN' 'BOUT A LOVE THANG
I'M TALKIN' 'BOUT A LOVE THANG

NOW JUST WHEN I THOUGHT
I WAS CLEAR OUT OF DANGER
YOU WALKED RIGHT UP SAT RIGHT DOWN AND SAID
HOWDY STRANGER
WELL I CAN'T WALK AWAY
AND STILL CALL MYSELF A MAN
SO IF YOU WANT ME YOU CAN HAVE ME HONEY
ALL YOU CAN STAND
I'M TALKIN' 'BOUT A LOVE THANG
I'M TALKIN' 'BOUT A LOVE THANG

ONE BY ONE MY INHIBITIONS
HAVE FALLEN BY THE WAY
HONEY NOW THAT IT'S UPON US
LET'S SEE WHAT MIGHT MAKE LOVE STAY
WELL I SEE PASSIONS BOILIN' OVER
IMAGINATION RUNNIN' WILD AS HORSES
GALES OF RIOTOUS LAUGHTER
AND ALL LIFE'S MYSTERIOUS FORCES
WELL TOGETHER WE MIGHT MAKE A STAND
AND GO FOR THE WHOLE SHEBANG...
I'M TALKIN' 'BOUT A LOVE THANG
I'M TALKIN' 'BOUT A LOVE THANG
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THE "L" WORD

WELL I KNEW I WAS IN TROUBLE
WHEN I SAW THE LOOK ON HER FACE
I COULD SEE I HAD SOME EXPLAINING TO DO
N' MY SUSPICIONS WERE CONFIRMED
WHEN SHE THREW ME ON THE COUCH N' SHE SAID
BOY I'VE GOT A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU
SHE SAID WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER NOW FOR ALMOST A WHOLE YEAR
AND NOT ONCE IN ALL THAT TIME DID I EVER HEAR ...YOU SAY.... THE WORDS...I LOVE YOU

OH OH I SAID TO MYSELF, IT'S THE 'L' WORD
THEN I TRIED TO EXPLAIN
I TOLD HER

MY HEART IS SCARRED AND BANDAGED FROM THE TRIALS
OF LOVE GONE BY
AND YOU KNOW HOW THE STORY GOES
HONEY, ONCE SMITTEN TWICE SHY
WELL ITS TAKEN ME A WHILE TO GET TO IT
BUT AFTER CAREFUL CONSIDERATION I'M READY TO COMMIT
AND SAY THE WORDS...I
AND SAY THE WORDS...I...I 'L' WORD YOU

'L' WORD, SHE SAID, WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'L' WORD
IF YOU REALLY LOVED ME YOU'D COME RIGHT OUT AND SAY IT
SO I TOLD HER...

LIKE A BATTLE HARDENED SOLDIER, MY HEART HAS BEEN
WEATHERED AND WORN
FOR OFTEN I'VE ENDURED THE SLINGS AND ARROWS
OF LOVER'S SCORN
BUT BENEATH THIS SUIT OF ARMOR LURKS A HEART BOTH WARM AND TENDER
AND AFTER ALL THIS TIME FOR YOU ALONE I'M READY TO SURRENDER
AND SAY THE WORDS...I ...
AND SAY THE WORDS... I...I 'L' WORD YOU

WELL SHE STARTED TO CRY, N' I FELT LIKE TO DIE
BUT THE HARDER I TRIED, THE MORE MY TONGUE GOT TIED
YES TRY AS I MIGHT, THE WORDS WOULD NOT COME OUT RIGHT
AND INTO THE NIGHT, RAGED A TERRIBLE FIGHT

THAT NIGHT WE WENT TO SLEEP IN A BED OF ANGST AND TEARS
BUT IN THE MIDDLE OF A STRANGE DREAM I AWOKE
AND UNDER THE COVER OF DARKNESS
WHILE SHE LAY SLEEPING I ROLLED OVER AND WHISPERED IN HER EAR
HONEY, I LOVE YOU
SHE OPENED HER EYES AND TURNED TO ME WITH A SMILE AND SAID
I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT
WHEREUPON WE ENGAGED IN AN EMBRACE THE PASSION OF WHICH
ROCKED THE VERY FOUNDATION OF THE ETERNAL UNIVERSE ITSELF
THE NEXT MORNING I AWOKE TO THE SMELL OF BACON COOKING ON THE STOVE
SHE CAME TO ME WITH A FRESH CUP OF COFFEE AND SHE SAID
HONEY, LET ME HEAR YOU SAY IT AGAIN
SO I TOLD HER...
-------------------------------------top

MOTHERS, DAUGHTERS AND ME

HE WHO WOULD THE DAUGHTER WIN, MUST WITH THE MOTHER FIRST BEGIN
THEREIN LIES THE KEY
FELLAS DON'T YOU END UP SAD AND SORRY, LEARN A LESSON FROM THE STORY
OF MOTHERS, DAUGHTERS AND ME

WELL I ONCE HAD ME A SWEETHEART, BLUE EYED TRIED AND TRUE
N' THE LONGER WE WENT COURTIN', THE DEEPER OUR LOVE GREW
CAME ONE MOONLIT EVENING, I ASKED WOULD SHE MARRY ME
SHE SAID SHE'D BE PROUD TO BE MY BRIDE, IF HER MOTHER WOULD AGREE

SO I WENT TO SEE HER MOTHER, TOLD HER WITH HER DAUGHTER I WAS TAKEN
SHE SAID THATS NICE BUT AS FOR A WEDDIN' , YOUNG MAN YOU ARE MISTAKEN
MY ONE AND ONLY DAUGHTER, WILL NOT MARRY FOR LOVE ALONE
IF YOU WANT HER HAND, YOU BETTER QUIT THE BAND, AND BUILD HER A HAPPY HOME

WELL HE WHO WOULD THE DAUGHTER WIN, MUST WITH THE MOTHER FIRST BEGIN
THEREIN LIES THE KEY
FELLAS DON'T YOU END UP SAD AND SORRY, LEARN A LESSON FROM THE STORY
OF MOTHERS, DAUGHTERS AND ME

WELL NEXT TIME I HAD A SWEETHEART, I ASKED HER TO ELOPE
SHE SAID ALRIGHT WE'LL LEAVE TONIGHT, N' DON'T FORGET TO BRING THE ROPE
WE STOOD THERE AT THE ALTER, PREACHER JUST GIVIN' WHAT FOR
WHEN HE GOT TO THE PART DOES ANYONE OBJECT, HER MOTHER BURST THROUGH THE DOOR

WELL HE WHO WOULD THE DAUGHTER WIN, MUST WITH THE MOTHER FIRST BEGIN
THEREIN LIES THE KEY
FELLAS DON'T YOU END UP SAD AND SORRY, LEARN A LESSON FROM THE STORY
OF MOTHERS, DAUGHTERS AND ME

ADD ONE TOO MANY THAT MAKES THREE
THATS WHAT I ALWAYS GOT
WITH A MOTHER AND A DAUGHTER AND ME
'TIL I FINALLY LEARNED MY LESSON
ON HOW IMPORTANT IS A MOTHERS BLESSIN'
THAT'S HOW IT WAS WITH MOTHERS DAUGHTERS AND ME

WELL IN TIME I FOUND A NEW LOVE, N' I SWORE SHE'D BE MY LAST
I VOWED I'D LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES, AND NOT REPEAT THE PAST
BUT HER MOTHER DID NOT CARE FOR ME, N' SHE TREATED ME MOST VILE
SO WHATEVER SHE SAID I'D NOD MY HEAD, AND GIVE HER A GREAT BIG SMILE

AND FOR EACH FLOWER I BROUGHT MY SWEETHEART, I BROUGHT HER MOTHER TWO
FOR EVERY PIECE OF CANDY, I BROUGHT A BOX FOR YOU KNOW WHO
YES I COURTED HER ALL WINTER UNTIL THE LIGHT SHE FINALLY SAW
CAME THE SPRING, HER DAUGHTER WORE MY RING, AND I GOT ME A MOTHER IN LAW

YES HE WHO WOULD THE DAUGHTER WIN, MUST WITH THE MOTHER FIRST BEGIN
THEREIN LIES THE KEY
FELLAS DON'T YOU END UP SAD AND SORRY, LEARN A LESSON FROM THE STORY
OF MOTHERS, DAUGHTERS AND ME
--------------------------------------------top

HER WAY

SHE SAID HONEY, CLOSE THE WINDOW
I SAID HONEY, IT'S TOO HOT
SHE SAID BABY, I'M FREEZING
I SAID SWEETHEART, I'D REALLY RATHER NOT
SHE GOT ALL QUIET THEN
SHE SIGHED, N' TURNED AWAY
I GOT OUT OF BED, CLOSED THE WINDOW TIGHT
THAT'S RIGHT, I DID IT HER WAY

SHE SAID BABY, LET'S GO DANCING
I SAID SWEETHEART, I'D JUST STEP ON YOUR FEET
SHE SAID BABY, IT'S EASY
I SAID PRECIOUS, I'D RATHER JUST GO EAT
SHE CROSSED HER ARMS AT ME
N' SAID FINE, WHATEVER YOU SAY
TILL DAWN'S EARLY LIGHT
WE WERE TWISTIN' THE NIGHT AWAY
YOU MIGHT SAY, I DID IT HER WAY

(OK HERE COMES THE ELVIS PART, I'M DOWN ON ONE KNEE)
FOR WHAT IS IT FOR, THIS LIFE HERE ON EARTH
IF NOT FOR LOVE, WHAT IS IT WORTH
NOW THAT I'VE FOUND HER, I FACE THE TRUE TEST (HUSH)
TO KEEP LOVE ALIVE, AND THIS IS MY QUEST
WHATEVER IT TAKES, TO MAKE LOVE STAY
IT IS A SMALL, A SMALL PRICE TO PAY
TO ENSURE THAT OUR LOVE IS SECURE I ENDURE THE SURE WAY
AND DO IT, HER WAY

SHE SAID HONEY, COME TO BED
I SAID SWEETHEART, TEN MINUTES TO GO
SHE SAID BABY, COME TO BED... NOW
I SAID BUT PRECIOUS, IT'S MY FAVORITE SHOW
SHE CAME INTO THE ROOM
IN PERFUME, AND NATURE'S FINE ARRAY
WENT UP TO BED, TURNED DOWN THE LIGHTS
THAT'S RIGHT, I DID IT HER WAY
-----------------------------------------top

ROCKIN' ROUND THE UNIVERSE

WELL I WAS SITTIN' 'ROUND THE TV
WITH A COUPLE OF THE GUYS
WATCHIN' CAPTAIN KIRK AND MR. SPOCK
ON THE U.S.S. ENTERPRISE
SOMEONE SAID HE WONDERED
WHEN WE'D MAKE IT TO THE STARS
SOMEONE ELSE SAID HE'D BE SATISFIED
IF HE COULD EVEN WALK ON MARS
THEN WE ALL LOOKED AT EACH OTHER
AND ONE THING LED TO ANOTHER
WELL WE'VE BEEN BUILDIN' OUR OWN SPACE SHIP NOW
GUESS ABOUT A YEAR OR SO
WORKIN' NIGHT AND DAY OUT IN THE BACK YARD
AND SHE'S JUST ABOUT READY TO GO
WE GOT A GREAT BIG BEAUTIFUL WORK OF ART
BUILT WITH HEART AND SOUL
N' WE POWER THAT BABY WITH A SECRET FUEL
WE CALL THE SPIRIT OF ROCK AND ROLL
INTO THE GREAT BEYOND
MY SPIRIT FOR TO WANDER
WE'RE OFF INTO THE WILD BLUE YONDER

YEAH WE'LL BE ROCKIN' 'ROUND THE UNIVERSE
RACIN' 'ROUND THE STARS
UP AND DOWN THE MILKY WAY
WITH OUR DRUMS AND OUR GUITARS
AND ALL ACROSS THIS GALAXY
THEY'LL COME HEAR THE BOYS FROM EARTH
CS' I TELL YOU MAN WE GOT THE ROCKINEST BAND
ROCKIN' 'ROUND THE UNIVERSE

WELL THE MESSAGE ON THE MICROWAVE
SAID COME ON OUT AND PLAY
SO WE'RE HEADED FOR A CLUB CALLED ORION'S BELT
UP IN A CORNER OF THE MILKY WAY
YEAH COME TOMORROW MORNIN'
THEM THRUSTERS COME ALIVE
WE'LL CRUISE ON OUT PAST VENUS
N' KICK IN THE HYPERDRIVE
INTO THE GREAT BEYOND
MY SPIRIT FOR TO WANDER
WE'RE OFF INTO THE WILD BLUE YONDER

YEAH WE'LL BE ROCKIN' 'ROUND THE UNIVERSE
RACIN' 'ROUND THE STARS
UP AND DOWN THE MILKY WAY
WITH OUR DRUMS AND OUR GUITARS
AND ALL ACROSS THIS GALAXY
THEY'LL COME HEAR THE BOYS FROM EARTH
CS' I TELL YOU MAN WE GOT THE ROCKINEST BAND
ROCKIN' ROUND THE UNIVERSE

PEOPLE LAUGHED
SAID WE'D NEVER DO IT
I GUESS IT GOES TO SHOW YOU
WHAT YOU CAN DO WHEN YOU PUT YOUR MIND TO IT
WE'LL BE LEAVIN' IN THE MORNIN'
A BLINDIN' LIGHT AND A DEAFENING ROAR
BLASTIN' OFF TO BOLDLY ROCK
WHERE NO MAN'S ROCKED BEFORE ...
-------------------------------------------------top
TRAIN SONG

WELL I RAN IN VAIN
CS' I CAN'T STAND THE PAIN
SO I'M TAKIN' THE TRAIN BACK TO YOU
-------------------------------------------------top

BIRTHDAY SONG

IT'S 'S LESLEY'S BIRTHDAY
IT'S 'S LESLEY'S BIRTHDAY
HIP HIP HOORAY
LET'S GIVE A CHEER
IT'S 'S LESLEY'S BIRTHDAY
IT'S 'S LESLEY'S BIRTHDAY
THIS SPECIAL DAY
COMES BUT ONCE A YEAR

OH WELL WRAP YOUR PRESENTS ONE AND ALL
MEET ME DOWN AT THE OLD TOWN HALL
TELL ALL YOU FRIENDS AND DON'T BE LATE
THERE'S MUSIC AND GAMES, ICE CREAM AND CAKE

IT'S 'S LESLEY'S BIRTHDAY
IT'S 'S LESLEY'S BIRTHDAY
HIP HIP HOORAY
LET'S GIVE A CHEER
IT'S 'S LESLEY'S BIRTHDAY
IT'S 'S LESLEY'S BIRTHDAY
THIS SPECIAL DAY
COMES BUT ONCE A YEAR
----------------------------------top

RIPE AND READY (FOR LOVE)

LIKE FRUIT ON THE VINE
RIPE FOR PICKIN'
LIKE COFFEE IN THE MORNIN'
JUST RIGHT FOR SIPPIN'
LIKE CHICKEN OFF THE GRILL
FINGER LICKIN' GOOD
I'M RIPE, AND READY, FOR LOVE

LIKE GOLDEN WAVES OF WHEAT
READY FOR REAPIN'
LIKE PIE FRESH OUT' THE OVEN
JUST RIGHT FOR EATIN'
LIKE FLOWERS IN FULL BLOOM
SWEET 'N' PRETTY TOO
I'M RIPE, AND READY, FOR LOVE

WELL FOR FORTY ODD YEARS I'VE BEEN WORKING
THIS PIECE OF GROUND
AND I AIM TO REAP A BOUNTIFUL HARVEST
BEFORE THE SUN GOES DOWN
SO HONEY IF YOU' BE NEEDIN' ME ANY TIME SOON
YOU CAN FIND ME 'NEATH THAT HARVEST MOON
RIPE, AND READY, FOR LOVE

LIKE A RACEHORSE IN HIS PRIME
CAN'T LAST FOREVER
LIKE YESTERDAY'S CUT FLOWERS
FADE ALTOGETHER
LIKE ELVIS IN LAS VEGAS
IT'S NOW OR NEVER
I'M RIPE, AND READY, FOR LOVE
-----------------------------------------top

THIS SONG'S FOR YOU, MA

JOLLY JUMPERS, PLASTERSCENE
CHOCOLATE MILK FOR SCARY DREAMS
BROTHERS AND A SISTER, PEANUT BUTTER
TONS OF CRAYONS
A HANDY BOOST FOR CLIMBIN' TREES
HUGS AND BAND-AIDS FOR MY KNEES
WISHES ON STARS, MY COWBOY HAT
A ROCKIN' HORSE TO PLAY ON

ALL OF THE ABOVE
HANDED DOWN TO ME WITH LOVE
THIS SONG'S FOR YOU, MA
YOU AND NO OTHER
A SIMPLE SONG OF THANKS
FOR BEING MY MOTHER

NOTES FOR SCHOOL WHEN I WAS LATE
HOW TO SPELL AND TIMES BY EIGHT
A CHARGE ACCOUNT FOR PANTS AND SWEATERS
MY ALLOWANCE
M' MICROSCOPE N' CHEMISTRY SET
THE BEST SPAGHETTI EVER ET
MY FIRST GUITAR WHEN I TURNED TEN
HOW TO TEEN DANCE

ALL OF THE ABOVE
HANDED DOWN TO ME WITH LOVE
THIS SONG'S FOR YOU, MA
YOU AND NO OTHER
A SIMPLE SONG OF THANKS
FOR BEING MY MOTHER

YOU GAVE LIFE ITSELF TO ME
FOR YEARS A SELFLESS DEVOTEE
AND ALL I HAVE TO OFFER YOU
IS ONE RIGHT FROM THE HEART LONG OVERDUE

DOSTOYEVSKY AT THIRTEEN
HEPBURN AND BOGEY ON THE AFRICAN QUEEN
LATE NIGHT RAVE UPS WITH
BOB DYLAN, GIN AND TONIC
FRED ASTAIRE, N' DAVE BRUBECK
J.D. SALINGER AND STEINBECK
PLAYING SCRABBLE, WORDS LIKE TORPOR
AND IRONIC

ALL OF THE ABOVE
HANDED DOWN TO ME WITH LOVE
THIS SONG'S FOR YOU, MOM
YOU AND NO OTHER
A SIMPLE SONG OF THANKS
FOR BEING MY MOTHER
-------------------------------top

HE'S MY DOG

AND WHEN I GO OUT ON THE ROAD I GET A LITTLE LONELY
SURE THERE'S OTHER DOGS BUT FRED'S MY ONE AND ONLY
SO I CALL HIM ON THE TELEPHONE EACH NIGHT BEFORE I GO TO BED
I SAY OPERATOR PLEASE PLACE A PERSON TO PERSON CALL TO MY DOG FRED

I GOT A GREAT BIG DOG
HIS NAME IS FRED
HE TAKES ME FOR WALKS
N' JUMPS ON MY BED
HE'S THE BEST FRIEND A BOY EVER HAD
HE'S MY DOG
WE GO TO THE PARK
N' HE CHASES THE SQUIRRELS
AND HE'S SO HANDSOME
HE ATTRACTS ALL THE GIRLS
HE'S THE BEST FRIEND A BOY EVER HAD
HE'S MY DOG

HE'S MY DOG
HE'S MY DOG
HOW I LOVE THAT DOG
HE'S THE BEST FRIEND A I EVER HAD
HE'S MY DOG

WE SIT ON THE PORCH
AND SING MY SONGS
FRED'S NOT SHY
HE SINGS RIGHT ALONG
HE'S THE BEST FRIEND A BOY EVER HAD
HE'S MY DOG
N' WHEN MY HONEY COMES OVER
AND I CLOSE THE DOOR
HE DON'T COMPLAIN
HE JUST LIES ON THE FLOOR
HE'S THE BEST FRIEND A BOY EVER HAD
HE'S MY DOG

HE'S MY DOG
HE'S MY DOG
HOW I LOVE THAT DOG
HE'S THE BEST FRIEND I EVER HAD
HE'S MY DOG

AND WHEN I GO OUT ON THE ROAD I GET A LITTLE LONELY
SURE THERE'S OTHER DOGS BUT FRED'S MY ONE AND ONLY
SO I CALL HIM ON THE TELEPHONE EACH NIGHT BEFORE I GO TO BED
I SAY OPERATOR PLEASE PLACE A PERSON TO PERSON CALL TO MY DOG FRED
AND FRED SAYS

YES I'D LIKE TO SPEAK TO FRED PLEASE,
FRED HUMPHREY.
OH HI FRED GEE IT'S GOOD TO HEAR YOUR VOICE. SAY HOW'S EVERYTHING UP AT THE PUPPY FARM?
JUST OK, WHY, IS THERE ANYTHING WRONG?
THAT DOBERMAN PINCHER?
FRED, DID YOU TRY WHAT I SUGGESTED?
WHAT HAPPENED?
YOU GOT IN A FIGHT? FRED ARE YOU ALRIGHT?
I SHOULD HAVE SEEN HIM?
THEY TREATING YOU ALRIGHT UP THERE?
PLENTY TO EAT? LOTS OF EXERCISE?
SAY FRED, YOU MET ANY NICE GIRL DOGS UP AT THE PUPPY FARM?
WELL YOU DON'T SAY?
SO WHAT'S HER NAME FRED?
WHICH ONE? WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHICH ONE?
G.L.O.R.I.A?
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU SPOKE FRENCH YOU SLY DOG.
LUCILLE?
WOW SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE DOING ALRIGHT UP THERE FRED.
FOR ME? WELL ACTUALLY THINGS ARE A LITTLE SLOW OUT HERE FRED.
SURE IS.
HEY FRED I BETTER GET GOING. I'LL TRY AND CALL YOU TOMORROW NIGHT.
I MISS YOU TOO FRED.
AW SHUCKS FRED. I LOVE YOU TOO.

HE'S MY DOG
HE'S MY DOG
HOW I LOVE THAT DOG
HE'S THE BEST FRIEND I EVER HAD
HE'S MY DOG
------------------top

I GOT TO ROCK

THEY SAID
SON GO TO SCHOOL
LEARN A TRADE
GET A JOB
FIND A GIRL
SETTLE DOWN
RAISE A KID
HAVE A DOG
I SAID MOM, DAD
I GOT TO ROCK
THAT'S RIGHT
I GOT TO ROCK

SHE SAID
LET'S FALL IN LOVE
BUY A RING
GET ENGAGED
HAVE A WEDDIN'
HONEYMOON
PLAY HOUSE
N' HAVE A BABIES
I SAID HONEY, I LOVE YOU BUT
I GOT TO ROCK
THAT'S RIGHT
I GOT TO ROCK

I SHOWED PROMISE IN MY YOUTH ON WALL STREET IN THE STOCK MARKET
BY NOW I COULD HAVE HAD ME A ROLLS ROYCE AND A PLACE TO PARK IT
YES I COULD HAVE HAD A WONDERFUL WIFE AND FAMILY
INSTEAD OF THESE THREE JOKERS STANDIN' NEXT TO ME...
OH, YEAH, EVEN THE BAND LEFT ME

I SAID
GOIN' TO SING SONGS
PLAY GUITAR
TOUR THE WORLD
HAVE A HIT (NOT)
N' KEEP ON ROCKIN'
TIL I'M GONE
THAT'S RIGHT
I GOT TO ROCK
THAT'S RIGHT
I GOT TO ROCK
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